I’m dating you doesn’t mean you can date rape me.

Date Rape

Sara went to a bar to party with few of her friends. When she went to rest room one of her friends. Jacob carefully poured a colorless, odorless and tasteless powder in her drink. Coming back she consumed the drugged drink without knowing its consequences. Next morning she found herself in the bed of the accused. Under the effect of the drug she knew about nothing that had happened the previous night.  The accused possessed some photographs of the previous night, which he used to threaten and blackmail the victim. The victim was victimized for months and due to the fear and guilt she remained silent and confided in nobody. Ultimately she committed suicide to get rid of this miserable condition. This story may become a reality in life of any woman. Date rape is something we feel would never happen to us but it is a dangerous mistake to believe so.

It is unfortunate that many victims of date rape or acquaintance rape commit suicide. Recently a 15 year old girl committed suicide when she was gang raped by her boy friend and his friends. Bijal Joshi rape case which formed the headlines in 2004 was no exception. The lower court has recently awarded the five accused (Sajal Jain, Sugam Jaiswal, Ashok Jaiswal, Chandan Jaiswal and Karan Jain with life imprisonment. Bijal Joshi (24 years) was allegedly raped by her boy friend Sajal Jain and his four friends on the New Year’s Eve in a room at Hotel Ashok Palace, Ahemdabad. When the police took no notice of her complaints, she committed suicide leaving a suicide letter which mentioned the names of all the accused.

It is estimated that around 70,000 college students in the United States are victims of drug rapes or sexual assault every year. Mostly drugs like Rohynol, Ketamine and GHB are administered to commit such crimes. They are also known as predator’s drugs or club drugs. Their effects are generally permanent and a woman may not be able to conceive ever if administered such drugs.

Rohynol:

1. Its effect starts within 10 minutes of ingestion which can continue up to eight hours.

2. It may cause difficulty in walking, nausea, confusion, dizziness, muscle relaxation, slurred speech and impaired judgement.

3. However it is banned in U.S., it is legal in almost 60 countries including U.K. and Mexico as it is used as a medicine for insomnia.

Ketamine:

1. It is administered through injections in veterinary practice .

2. Causes hallucinations, numbness, aggressive behaviour, vomiting and dream-like effects.

3. It is available in both liquid and powder form.

GHB:

1. It is available in powder or liquid form and is easily slipped into a drink.

2. It causes unconsciousness, dizziness, drowsiness,sweating, nausea and respiratory problems.

3. Although the drug is odorless and colorless, it is quite salty.

How to protect yourself?

  1. Don’t accept or share drinks.
  2. Never leave your drink unattended, even if you are going to the washroom.
  3. If you find something suspicious in your drink pour it out immediately.
  4. Have a non-drinking friend with you at a party.
  5. Don’t hesitate to take help, if you feel you have been drugged.
  6. Choose taking drinks from a closed container and not from a pitcher.

What must be done by a date-rape victim?

1. If you believe that you are a victim of date rape take medical help. A urine test within 72 hours of the administration of the drug would reveal the presence of drug in your system.

2. Inform the police. To avoid any sort of harassment by police, consult and take help of  a N.G.O .

3. Don’t hold yourself responsible for the tragedy. Counseling would definitely help you to get over your guilt.

4. Suicide is no option. It is not the victim but the perpetrator who deserves punishment.

Indian Penal Code

Although we don’t have any specific laws related to Date Rape or acquaintance rape, the section 375 of Indian Penal Code, clearly states that sexual intercourse without the consent of victim is considered to be rape. It further states that, if consent for sexual intercourse is obtained by intoxication; then also rape would be deemed to have occurred. The minimum punishment for rape as prescribed under Section 376 is seven years. Hence a victim may take the benefit of the above section.

Criticism

It is unfortunate that some people believe that rape was justified if a woman asks the male out. Some of the perpetrators claim that they had right to have sex with their victims. Both the arguments are highly flawed; a man does not own his date. It is not obligatory on a woman to have sex with her partner. A relationship does not necessarily mean sexual relationship.

To prevent date rape a woman must be vigilant and careful. “Betrayal occurs only where there is presence of trust.” Both young males and females must be taught about sexuality in educational institutions. The risk factors and legal consequences related to rape must be discussed with students. It is the moral responsibility of every individual to inform police, if he or she feels that a woman is administered a club drug.

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16 thoughts on “I’m dating you doesn’t mean you can date rape me.

  • at 9:21 PM
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    a rape is a rape date, marital or that committed by strangers these offenders must be punished severely.

  • at 9:24 PM
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    I agree Sidhi … Crimes like Rape must not be left unpunished…

  • at 9:37 PM
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    Well I agree with both of you, But dont u guys think dat even the girls should think n no. of times before going out with people of a low character….??
    Blaming the boys completly is not done, even the girls have to tkae care, it’s coz the guys with whom they move out Its not that they dont know about the character of that guy, its jst dat they think dat this guy is a gud frn of mine nd wudn’t do nethng bad 2 me……which ultimatly leads 2 such a scene….

  • at 9:58 PM
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    Your argument makes sense that the girls must be careful while moving out with guys. But this cannot be taken as a plea by rapists to fullfil their lusts.

  • at 10:01 PM
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    I didnt wrote it as a plea for rapists to fulfil their lust….jst gave another point hw rapes can be avoided or atleast reduced…..

  • at 10:07 PM
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    Rahul I sincerely apologize for misunderstanding the comment.

  • at 10:12 PM
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    Its nothin about apologisin….its awl abba wat v guys r tryin 2 say via dis website which is a very nice platform for social awarenes…kudos to you nd your work…..:-)

  • at 10:13 PM
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    Thanks rahul.. Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me

  • at 3:56 PM
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    Rape is a heinous crime and my blood boils every time I hear about the date rape drug and how it is misused. Like you have mentioned the woman must be extremely vigilant and she must be on guard even when she’s out with a person she feels is trustworthy. The usage of such drugs will reduce only when the rapists realize that it is of no use and we women will have to play a huge part in doing so.

  • at 4:37 PM
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    Well some guys start considering girls as their property once she commits to them and think it is justified to have sexual intercourse with their girlfriend even without her consent… Actually the flaw lies in the law system where the victim does not get justice easily… If a quick and strict verdict was given in such cases, then definitely a guy would think twice before raping his girlfriend.. The suicidal cases of rape victims are common just because there isnt proper law enforcement… Its as if the girl’s plea would be heard only after she commits suicide…

  • at 5:30 PM
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    It is true that to stop a heinous crime like date rape, the women must be both aware and vigilant. As you have rightly pointed out active opposition of women against such crimes would definitely make a difference.

  • at 5:38 PM
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    You observation stands correct, Prachi. Problem is with the law enforcement agencies. In India and most of the other countries, the defence lawyers usually contend that the intercourse was consensual. They play with the facts and in cases of date rapes it can be easily proved that the victim got intoxicated herself or no intoxication took place. The traces of drugs are no longer visible in the urine test after 72 hours.
    Thus as I said before it very important for females to know how to prevent such situations or god forbade if something of this sort happens they must know the recourse.

  • at 11:28 AM
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    after a couple of drinks, a woman is no longer in a position to guard her drink! Blackmail after a date rape is the aim. Con men find ways to distract and drunk women give in to flattery easily…they are sitting ducks for such men…they intuitively know which woman is most vulnerable.

    A wonderful post….keenly compiled.

  • at 5:38 PM
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    Thanks for the appreciation Nalini… Certainly acquaintance rape most of the times results in blackmail and future repetition of such heinous acts…

  • at 11:45 PM
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    hmm..i cudnt agree more, di..these people need to be punished..

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